Coaching for Expats in the Netherlands. Working with Pressure, Leadership and Belonging

Living and working in the Netherlands as an expat often looks smooth from the outside. Most educated expats have an important role at their company, involving multiple responsibilities and intellectual challenges. If this is your situation, you might recognise that yet, beneath that surface, the experience can be demanding in ways that are difficult to discuss with colleagues or friends.

You may notice tension in your body after long workdays, a persistent sense of alertness or difficulty truly switching off. You may feel professionally competent, while simultaneously overextended and emotionally drained. At work, connection with colleagues does not always feel natural. Outside work, building a sense of belonging in the city you live in takes more time and energy than you would have expected beforehand.

These experiences are common among expat professionals and leaders. Professional coaching sessions offer a way to work with them consciously and constructively - leading to self awareness and the ability to navigate complex feelings and/or situations.

Stress and emotional load in an expat context

Scientific research shows that expatriation increases cognitive and emotional demands. A meta analysis by Bhaskar-Shrinivas and colleagues published in the Journal of Applied Psychology demonstrates that adjustment challenges are strongly related to psychological well being and performance. Stress does not necessarily come from workload alone, but from sustained ambiguity, cultural adaptation and the absence of familiar support structures.

As a highly educated professional, you are likely skilled at managing complexity. At the same time, prolonged stress can express itself subtly. Reduced concentration, irritability, sleep problems or emotional withdrawal are not signs of weakness, but indicators that your system is under continuous pressure. Coaching helps you recognise these signals early and explore how stress, expectations and self image interact.

This work is not about reducing ambition or intensity, but merely about increasing awareness and choice, so that your energy supports your leadership rather than undermines it.

Connection at work and in the city you live in

Many expats describe a sense of professional integration combined with personal distance. You collaborate effectively, yet informal interaction may feel limited. Cultural differences in communication style, humour or openness can make it harder to feel truly seen and connected to others.

Research on expatriate adjustment highlights the importance of social connection for long term effectiveness and well being. Without meaningful connection, work can become transactional and life outside work narrow. Coaching provides a space to reflect on how you relate to others, how visible you allow yourself to be and where you may be holding back.

This reflection often extends beyond the workplace. Living in cities such as Rotterdam, Haarlem or Den Bosch offer rich professional and cultural environments, but building a sense of belonging requires intentional engagement. Coaching can help you explore how you position yourself in new social contexts and what you need in order to feel more at home.

Leadership under cultural and personal pressure

Leadership in an international environment asks more than technical competence. Studies on authentic leadership, such as the work of Avolio and Gardner in The Leadership Quarterly, emphasise the importance of self awareness, emotional regulation and alignment between values and behaviour.

As an expat leader, you may experience tension between who you have been as a leader and who the context now asks you to be. Dutch organisational culture values autonomy, directness and shared responsibility. This can challenge established leadership habits and trigger uncertainty or self doubt, even when results are strong.

Research on cultural intelligence by Earley and Ang shows that leaders who actively reflect on cultural assumptions are better equipped to adapt without losing authenticity. Coaching supports this process by offering a structured space to examine your leadership style, emotional responses and decision making under pressure.

Expat life as a developmental phase

International work is often discussed in terms of challenge and sacrifice. At the same time, research also points to its developmental potential. A longitudinal study by Takeuchi, Tesluk and Yun published in the Academy of Management Journal shows that international assignments can contribute significantly to leadership development when professionals engage in reflection and learning.

Living abroad creates distance from familiar reference points. This distance can evoke emotion, uncertainty and vulnerability. It also creates room for growth. Coaching helps you work with this phase consciously, integrating professional ambition with personal stability and emotional intelligence.

Coaching in English, grounded in the Dutch context, located in Rotterdam, Haarlem and Den Bosch.

At De Coachkade, we provide coaching in the English language, for international leaders and professionals working in the Netherlands. Our coaching practice is grounded in the Dutch professional and cultural context and located in Rotterdam, Haarlem and Den Bosch.

Our approach is both reflective, emotionally attuned and practical. We apply methods for professionals who want to understand themselves better in relation to their work, their leadership and the life they are building here.

If you recognise yourself in these themes and value depth over quick solutions, you are welcome for a personal introduction at one of our locations.

Marieke (coach and owner of De Coachkade) at our location in Rotterdam

References

Bhaskar-Shrinivas, P., Harrison, D. A., Shaffer, M. A., & Luk, D. M. (2005). Input based and time based models of international adjustment. Journal of Applied Psychology, 90(2), 257–271.

Avolio, B. J., & Gardner, W. L. (2005). Authentic leadership development. The Leadership Quarterly, 16(3), 315–338.

Earley, P. C., & Ang, S. (2003). Cultural Intelligence: Individual Interactions Across Cultures. Stanford University Press.

Takeuchi, R., Tesluk, P. E., Yun, S., & Lepak, D. P. (2005). An integrative view of international experience. Academy of Management Journal, 48(1), 85–100.